Parents
by Lucyinthesky1996
Summary: After arriving on the island, Jack and Ralph take on the role of mummy and daddy with the littleuns. They may regret it. Jack/Ralph and Simon/Roger. A bit OOC.
1. Parents will comfort you

To Jack, being a parent was life's most challenging event.

Ever since they'd arrived on the island, the littleuns had been nothing but absolute nightmares. They were cheeky, annoying, always getting lost and forever demanding things. What made things worse was that Ralph never stopped fussing over them. In fact he fussed over them so much; he never paid any attention to Jack anymore. Whenever they were in the middle of something Bill would pull a tantrum, or SamnEric would get into a fight, or Tom would start whining for a cuddle. And being their surrogate mother, Ralph always put them first.

But the worst thing about the littleun's was that they_ always_ cried.

_First night on the island._

After a long day of nominating chiefs, chasing pigs and getting used to their new surroundings, the boys were tired out. They had not yet found shelter so the sands of the beach were their only bed. They'd arranged themselves in groups; the choir boys slept in a huddle together, as did the littleuns and finally Ralph and Piggy. Jack, however, isolated himself from the others and slept alone. He just preferred it that way.

He'd only just got to sleep when he was immediately woken again by the sound of someone sobbing. Loud, high pitched sobs, very hard to ignore. He sat up, trying to figure out where it was coming from. The noise had woken the others too and they were all peering at each other, trying to work out which one of them was making that awful din. It turned out to be Percival, one of the littlest of the littleuns. Ralph, the blonde haired boy who had caught Jack's eyes almost immediately when they'd first arrived, had been the only one to go up to him and ask him what was wrong.

"I want my mam" the littleun sobbed, wiping the wetness from his dirty cheeks, "I want to go home…"

"Your mam's not here Percy, she's in England with your dad. We're just going to have to wait for someone to find us"

"But I want to go home _now_"

The tears continued to flow and he covered his eyes, letting the tears dampen his hands; and infected by that emotion, the other littleuns began to shake and sob too. Ralph, now the chief of the group, decided it was his job to comfort the children and gently wrapped his arms around Percival.

"Come on, stop that. You have to be brave now" the gentleness of his voice seemed to soothe the weeping children almost immediately, "We all miss our mams, but we're going to have to stay strong. What would your mam say if she saw you like this?"

Percival sniffed, "She'd tell me to be a big boy"

"Exactly. Now enough of those tears; tears are for the feeble. That's a good boy" he gently pushed away the remaining tears that made their way out of the corners of Percival's eyes.

"You're just like a mummy Ralph" Percival said quietly

This comment made Ralph blush, "Erm…thank you Percy. Now all of you dry your eyes and get some sleep. We need you bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow"

"But…we don't have tails"

"Just a figure of speech Percy"

* * *

"I don't understand" Jack said to Ralph after the littleuns had finally dropped off, "A man of your status – a _chief_ – taking the time to comfort useless children"

"They're only little Jack, they're homesick. Everyone needs a bit of comfort once and a while. And you forget that we're _all_ children on this island, we all need to stick together if we want to get home"

Jack thought about what Ralph had said but it still didn't seem to make sense. Ralph was a chief; chiefs didn't waste their time tending to complaining littleuns. That was a mother's job.

He sighed, still unable to make sense of the situation and went to sleep.


	2. Parents will get physical

Out of all the littleuns, Percival was the most curious.

He was forever getting himself in trouble with his curiosity – like the time he climbed the tallest tree in the jungle just to catch a glimpse of an exotic bird then realized he couldn't get down. Or the time when he decided it was a good idea to wander into an unknown cave and accidently woke up that sleeping sow and her piglets. Yes, he was curious at the worst of times. Especially when Jack and Ralph were in the middle of important business. Over the past few weeks, there'd been some suspicious behavior going on between Jack and Ralph. It'd started off with casual flirting – whispering to each other, giggling, small pecks on the cheek. Normal romantic behavior. But after a while, it started to get more and more….let's just say, _intimate_.

Every so often, Jack would ask Roger to watch over the littleun's for a while and told the littleun's to stay well away from the cave.

"Ralph and I have…important things to discuss" he said in his firm father's voice which usually made the littleun's squirm, "No one is to enter the cave, understood?"

It seemed perfectly reasonable, until Percival overheard Maurice muttering to Roger.

"Ha! _Important_ things. Going for another round of tonsil tennis more likely"

This triggered the curiosity. This "tonsil tennis" sounded very suspicious. There were no tennis racquets or tennis courts on the island, so how could Jack and Ralph possibly play tennis? Percival decided it was time to investigate. When Roger wasn't looking, he slipped away from the others and started creeping up the rocks towards the cave. He could hear small noises coming from inside, small moans and giggles. Every so often there would be a small squeak and the sound of scrabbling about. He got a little closer into the cave until he recognized the voices – no doubt it was Jack and Ralph.

"Jack Merridew!" Ralph's voice was high pitched so he sounded like a little girl, "Behave yourself!"

The sound of Jack growling like a tiger made Percival twitch uncomfortably. This game of tennis sounded very intimate. And who was keeping the scores? He really needed to remind his parents how to play the sport properly. He was just able to make them out now, two small figures in the darkness. Funny, they weren't standing up. They were on the floor. Jack on top of Ralph. And when he looked really closely, he could see their lips were connected. And they were…well their clothes were…

"PERCIVAL!"

Ralph's voice brought the littleun back down to Earth and he stumbled backwards and would have landed on his head had Jack not sprung out and caught him by the wrists.

"Percival Wemys Madison! I thought I told you to stay outside!"

Percival said nothing, just glanced downwards and then back up so he met Jack's eyes.

"Daddy…where are your trousers?"

The colour suddenly drained from Jack's cheeks and he looked down to see he was only in his underwear. Behind him, Ralph put his top and shorts back on quickly, tossing Jack his clothes.

"Erm Percy…" Ralph crouched in front of the littleun, whilst Jack put his trousers back on, "Sometimes grownups…well in this case older kids, express their love for one another by-"

"Getting physical" Jack winked at Percy as he buttoned up his trousers.

"Ignore him!" Ralph said quickly, sending Jack an icy glare which told him that any more funny business would result in no kisses for a week, "Look, just don't tell the others about this okay? This is our secret. Just between us. Promise?"

Percival nodded, though he still looked a little pale, "Yes mummy"

Ralph sighed. Ever since the first night on the island, the littleun's had insisted on calling him "Mummy". He'd tried to deter them many times but they'd never quite caught on.

"I'm not your Mummy, Percy. Now run along and do…whatever you littleun's do. That's a good boy"

Percival turned and walked stiffly out of the cave, now fully aware of what the term "important things" meant. But he still didn't understand the whole tonsil tennis thing.

"And remember Percy!" Jack called after him, "No trying to do this with your friends until you're thirteen!"

"_Jack_, I'm warning you!"


	3. Parents will take care of you

SamnEric weren't exactly littleuns. Then again, they weren't exactly biguns either. They were sort of halfway in between; too old to be littleuns but too young to be biguns. Most of the time they were treated like littleuns anyway, seeing as they were very small.

"Mummy…?"

Ralph sighed, "For the last time Sam, don't call me-"

Ralph stopped when he saw there were tears running down the littleuns' cheeks. Sam was the braver of the twins, the one who was less likely to cry. So to see him like this was slightly worrying. He kept his head bent and shuffled closer to Ralph, pressing his head into his chest. Ralph sighed.

"Sam, what's the matter with you?"

"Hurts" a small voice whispered.

"What hurts?"

"My head," tears ran down the little one's face.

"It's alright Sam" Ralph pulled back a little and put his hands on the boy's shoulders, "Is that all that hurts you?"

A nod was his only reply.

"Okay…" Ralph glanced around, looking for a spot to put the small boy. He knew from experience that it was best to stay out of the light when you have a migraine. Whilst on a hunting trip, the boys had discovered a cave and it was there that they stayed; it was easier than sleeping on the beach or in the shelters. Ralph settled Sam in a shady corner of the cave, away from any sunlight. The little one's temperature was worryingly high so he called for Simon to get some water from the river and gently mopped the child's brow with a torn piece of his shirt. After hearing of his brother's illness, Eric came rushing into the cave and sat by his feeble twin, unable to be moved. When Sam was in pain, Eric was in pain. Simple as.

"Do you feel better?" Ralph asked after he'd applied fresh water to the littleun's forehead.

Sam opened an eye and almost nodded, then thought better of it and simply whispered, "Mmhm."

"Do you want to go and play with the others on the beach?"

"No" Sam mumbled, still miserable, "Hurts too much" and he started to cry again. Infected by this emotion, Eric started to cry also. Ralph shook his head at them both.

"Come on, we can't have you two crying like a pair of girls. Quieten down and I'll tell you a story, how's that?"

The twins stopped crying almost immediately and listened carefully as Ralph started telling them a story about ships and pirates and all kinds of dangerous shenanigans his own mother had told him about when he was ill. After a while, Sam's eyes began to droop and he fell asleep, head on Ralph's lap. After a while, Eric grew dozy as well and rested his head on Ralph's lap also.

"I hope Sam gets better soon, Mummy"

"I'm not your-" Ralph began but then realised that Eric had fallen asleep. He couldn't help but smile at the twins' innocence. It'd only been a few weeks since they'd arrived on the island, yet they already depended on him as if he really were their mother. He felt small tears pushing their way to his eyes, as he ran his fingers through Eric's soft locks, feeling his small breaths coming out short and peaceful.

By God, he really was getting soft.


	4. Parents will argue

As a couple, Jack and Ralph argued often. This was not necessarily a bad thing – after all, a couple that doesn't argue probably means there's no communication. But to the littleun's, arguments were the most frightening things ever. It all happened the day Jack took the littleun's to the forest for a hunting trip and had managed to corner and slaughter a sow. The killing caused great excitement and the littleun's returned to the others laughing and chattering and talking a thousand words a second.

"Look, we killed a pig!"

"We got in a circle!"

"The pig squealed"

"Daddy killed it for us!"

Jack had never felt so excited. He bounced on the balls of his feet like a hyper infant, then remembered his dignity and stood still grinning. He wiped the blood off his hands and laughed. He couldn't wait to tell Ralph. The sight of his partner coming towards him made his heart leap with excitement, but the expression on Ralph's face was anything but happy.

"Ralph! You should have seen it! We actually caught a pig! We cornered it, I cut its throat-"

"You let the fire go out"

Jack stopped, running his tongue over his bottom lip. The other boys suddenly stopped cheering and turned to peer at him. Reality hit and Jack's cheeks flushed redder than his hair.

"We…we can light it again. It's only been out for an hour or two. Golly, you should have seen the blood-"

"There was a ship"

Jack, faced at once with too many awful implications, ducked away from them, trying to ignore the sudden tension in the group. He distracted himself by laying a hand on the pig and drawing out his knife. Ralph brought his arm down, fist clenched, and his voice shook.

"There was a ship. Out there. You said you'd keep the fire going but you let it out!" he took a step toward Jack, who turned and faced him; "They may have seen us! We might have gone home!"

The littleuns jumped at the sound of Ralph's voice. Ralph had never raised his voice before, he'd never had to. The sudden harsh tone made them shuffle nervously. Jack's retaliation scared them further.

"Fire, fire, that's all you think about! How about congratulating the children for a change? Their first hunting trip, their first catch and all you can go on about is the stupid fire!"

"I'm the one trying to get us off this island! _You _on the other hand seem more hell bent on running after pigs all day and turning the littleun's into savages!"

"_Savages_? They're_ hunters_ Ralph; they need to learn to fend for themselves!"

"There was a ship Jack, a bloody _ship_! We could have gone home! Then they wouldn't_ have_ to fend for themselves!"

Silence followed his statement and suddenly an irritable voice rang out from above their heads, making Jack's fists clench.

"You and your blood Jack Merridew! You and your hunting! We might have gone home!" Piggy yelled.

"Shut up…" Jack growled, his voice vicious with humiliation.

"You didn't ought to have let that fire out! You said you'd keep the smoke going!"

This from Piggy, and the wails of agreement from some of the hunters, drove Jack to violence. The bolting look came into his blue eyes. He took a step forward and smacked Piggy across the head so his glasses flew off and tinkled on the rocks. The littleuns gasped as Piggy cried out, "My specs!"

Ralph looked appalled.

"Jack! How _could_ you? In front of the children as well!"

Jack glanced at the littleuns who were doing their best to stop shaking and suddenly felt guilty. Piggy adjusted his spectacles and snapped at Ralph.

"Why are you with him Ralph? All he ever causes is trouble! You're better off without him!"

This made the littleun's gasp. Ralph let the words soak in his mind then looked at Jack behind his matted fringe. Jack peered back at him anxiously, his eyes suddenly wide with concern. Ralph slowly walked over to him, and everyone expected him to push Jack or slap him or something drastic like that. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his neck and pressed their foreheads together. Piggy looked on disapprovingly. Simon put an arm around Percival who was trembling like a leaf.

After a while, after they'd pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, Jack muttered;

"Alright…I'm sorry. About the fire and the littleuns, I mean. There…I apologize"

A sigh of relief came from the others.

* * *

"You really are a complete _idiot _Jack Merridew" Ralph said fondly as he entwined his own hand with Jack's.

"I know" Jack replied surprisingly and snuck a quick kiss on Ralph's cheek, "But I'm _your_ idiot"

"Lucky me"

They entered the cave still holding hands and were greeted by the large wide eyes of the littleuns, all of them shuffling in discomfort.

"You lot look like you've seen a ghost" Jack said with raised eyebrows, "What's wrong?"

Sam nudged Eric to the front and he coughed nervously.

"A-are you two going to split up?"

Ralph blinked in surprise, "What? Of course not! Whatever gave you that idea?"

"That's what grownups do when they hate each other"

"We don't hate each other" Jack said, "We just had a little falling out. All grownups fall out from time to time"

"Oh…" Eric trailed off, "So, you're not splitting up?"

"Not if I can help it!" Jack put an arm firmly around Ralph, "I know your mother can be irritating from time to time but that doesn't mean I'm letting her get away from me that easily"

"Don't push it mister" Ralph said, prodding Jack in the stomach, "Alright SamnEric, go and fetch the pig so we can all eat. This meat better be sent down from the heavens if it cost us our ride home!"


	5. Parents will cry

Ralph didn't like leaving the littleun's with Roger.

It wasn't that he didn't trust him; he just preferred to keep an eye on them in case Roger's temper got the better of him and he did something he regretted. Things were in order when Ralph was around. The littleuns seemed to always do as he said. Whenever he needed to go somewhere (i.e the beach or the places where the littleun's were forbidden to go) he'd get Jack or Simon to look after them. But today Jack was off hunting (again) with Maurice and Robert and Simon and Piggy had gone fruit picking. Leaving only Roger as an option.

"Alright you lot" Roger loomed over the littleuns in an intimidating manner, "Your mother's out so _I'm_ in charge"

A small groan was heard from the group, quickly silenced by a wave of his hand, "Now remember the rules. No running off, no fighting and if any of you see a pig…?"

"Get a spear and stick it up its arse" the littleuns said together.

"Good. Now don't wander off too far. I don't want your father declaring war against me because I've managed to lose his children"

Roger always said he didn't like the littleuns. He labeled them annoying and would rarely let the other boys see him playing with the littleuns unless he truly had to. The truth was the littleuns were the only thing keeping Roger sane on this island. They were the only specks of innocence left in this turmoil of chaos. But no one could ever find out of his affection towards the littleun's. This act of weakness could easily damage his reputation permanently.

After a few hours there were no disturbances. The littleuns seemed to be in good spirits and were having fun playing on the rocks, leaving Roger to be lazy by himself in the cave. Just as he was drifting off into a doze, he heard a sudden cry of distress coming from outside and all of a sudden the twins hurtled in at top speed and almost fell on top him.

"Bloody hell SamnEric, watch where you're going!"

"Sorry!" Sam did his best to catch his breath, "But you must come-"

"-quickly!" Eric said, "We can't find Peter! He was just outside but-"

"-now he's disappeared! We just left him for a second and the next thing he knew-"

"He was gone!" they finished off together.

Roger paled, "You left Petey _alone_? How could you be so _stupid_, he's only six!"

"We're _sorry_!' Sam wailed, "Robert and Maurice are looking for him now!"

"Alright! Alright, I'm coming" Roger picked up his spear and followed the twins outside, "God, when Jack finds out about this, he'll kill me"

This wasn't unusual. Being the youngest of the littleun's, Peter was always prone to wonder off. The group had separated themselves out and searched everywhere; along the beach, the forest, the tops of the cliffs, anywhere possible for a little boy to wonder. Roger accompanied Jack whilst on the hunt for Peter, seeing as the new chief was agitated over the disappearance. They trekked along the cliff face, calling the little one's name.

"For God's sake Roger, I thought you were watching them!" Jack snapped.

"I _was_! It's not my fault, he just disappeared!"

Jack calmed himself and called out Peter's name for the third time. No response.

"We'll find him Jack" Roger said as sincerely as he could, "He always does this. He'll come back, you'll see"

"I know…I'm just…"

"Worried?"

"You know I rarely feel like that Roger"

"Well, the worst that could have happened is that the beast has got him"

"Don't say that"

"Joke, Jack. It was a joke. C'mon, lighten up" he punched him on the shoulder and sauntered ahead, disappearing behind a row of bushes outlining the cliff edge.

Jack didn't feel like following. It was all very well for Roger to joke around and be cheery. He didn't have a bond with the littleun's like he and Ralph did. He didn't understand that the littleun's were like Jack's own children. He didn't understand anything. He pushed his way through the row of bushes and saw Roger standing frozen on the spot, staring at something. The spear had fallen from his hand and his body was physically shaking. Jack took a step forward to see what had frightened him but an arm shot back to keep him away.

"Don't look!" Roger shouted but it was too late.

Jack felt the colour drain from his cheeks and he pushed past Roger, hoping it wasn't true. Peter lay before him in a shriveled heap, blood dripping down the side of his face. There was a large wound in his head from where his skull had collided with the rocky ground and he didn't seem to be breathing. Jack crouched down next to the littleun and gently touched the side of his face. His cheeks had no colour in them. His lips were blue. Jack could feel the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Petey, no…"

"We need to get him to the cave" Roger said, moving past Jack and lifting the littleun in his arms, "He could still be alive"

Jack got shakily to his feet and followed Roger down to the cave, where the littleun's were waiting anxiously for their return. At the sight of them they all went quiet and huddled together even more. Simon, who'd been informed by one of the littleun's, came running out and greeted Roger with a concerned kiss.

"Are you two alright? What on earth happened?"

"I don't know" Roger's voice was shaky, "He must have been playing on the rocks and fallen"

"Let's just get him inside, quick"

Simon took the injured child from Roger's arms, carrying him inside the cave to where Maurice and Robert were doing their best to calm a distressed Ralph. When Ralph saw Petey he burst into tears and took the frail little body in his arms, holding it protectively.

"We need to treat the wound Ralph" Simon said, almost in tears himself, "I'll try and stop the bleeding but I can't promise he'll make it through the night"

Ralph reluctantly handed Petey over to Simon and when his hands were free, he lunged viciously at Roger who would have been easily decapitated had the blonde not been held back by Maurice and Robert.

"You were meant to be watching them!" Ralph yelled, his cheeks pink with rage, "I leave you alone with them for five bloody minutes and now Petey's dying! How could you be so _careless_?"

Roger held his hands up in defense, "I'm sorry!" he didn't know what else to say, so he just repeated the apology, "I-I'm sorry!"

"You will be!" by now Ralph had angry tears spilling out from his eyes, "I swear, if you come anywhere near my babies again, I will make you bleed, I will make your whole body bleed!"

This was so unlike Ralph, so out of character. Roger turned around and left quickly so the others couldn't see he was sobbing. Jack followed him and apologized briefly for Ralph's behavior, saying it was just the stress. He knew it was more than that though. Jack saw that look he gave Roger. He knew through Ralph's eyes it was Roger who'd hurt Petey and nothing else.

That night, Jack crept into the darkness of the cave towards Petey who seemed asleep. Simon had done all he was capable of doing and said they'd just have to sit by and pray that God would spare him. Letting down his guard, Jack gently lifted the child and held him like a baby in his arms, singing to him a prayer he'd been taught in the choir. He wept, the salt of his life soaking the ground below, hot torrents of grief coursing out of his eyes like the breaking of a dam as he cradled the child he considered now as his own. All night he sat there, rocking him and singing to him and allowing the tears to fall past his cheeks.

And in the morning, when his eyes were dry and there were no more sobs left inside him, he made a move to settle the boy back down and leave when a tiny hand reached up and gently touched his cheek. And two small amber eyes blinked up at him. The sound of Petey's weak voice felt like a thousand blessings sent from the Lord.

"I didn't know parents could cry…"


	6. Parents will reassure you

It had been a quiet day on the island – up until a point. Ralph was on the beach making shell necklaces with Simon when a voice rang out from the cave above.

"SAMNERIC!"

Ralph sighed and set his work down.

"Excuse me for a second Simon, I need to go and make sure Jack doesn't kill the children"

When he reached the cave, the first thing he saw was Jack looming over SamnEric, half a spear in his hand. The twins were trying their best to stop shaking. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize they were in trouble. It was time to step in. Ralph went and stood beside Jack, arms folded, mirroring a disappointed mother.

"Alright?" Jack glared at them both, "Who did it?"

The twins glanced at each other, before pointing to each other and yelling, "_He_ did it!"

Jack rolled his eyes and examined the spear which had been broken cleanly in half. He was proud of that spear. It had won him his first pig. There were still dried bloodstains on the wood where the weapon had gone through the beast's throat. Yes, Jack idolized that spear. But now…now it was something less of a weapon. It was just two pieces of wood. I looked like someone had given it a good tug and perhaps twisted it in the wrong angle. Jack didn't know. All he knew was that one of the twins was responsible. He knew it was them; he'd heard them bickering inside the cave only moments before discovering the broken spear. The only question was which twin had broken it? Ralph moved his hands to his hips, putting on the most adult voice he could.

"Listen you two. No one is going anywhere until we find out which one of you broke it. Now don't lie, you know how I feel about lying. Just be honest and we promise not to be angry" he nudged Jack who gave a reluctant nod.

There came a tense pause before Eric summoned up the courage to take a step forward, hands behind his back, his voice wobbling in fear.

"W-will we get hit daddy?"

The littleuns had kept up the "mummy and daddy' lark. Jack and Ralph were used to it now, it was a second title for them. Jack cast a glance at Ralph, allowing him to decide the twin's fate.

"No" Ralph said as gently as he could, "Not unless you tell the truth"

This gave Eric more courage and he went on;

"We were just looking at it…" his little hands began shaking, "and then Sam said he wanted a go but I wasn't finished with it yet and…it kind of broke…"

Jack growled in frustration, "Eric, you know you're not allowed to touch things that don't belong to you!"

"To be fair Jack" Ralph leapt in for Eric's defense, "You shouldn't leave your stuff lying around"

"I assumed the twins were mature enough now to know not to touch other people's things" his eyes fell upon Eric like an ocean, "Clearly I was wrong"

Eric suddenly burst into a flood of tears, sobs which echoed off the walls of the cave and rang through the other boys' ears like a fire alarm. Overcome with guilt and humiliation, the younger of the twins wailed like a newborn and closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the disappointed looks cast upon him by his surrogate parents. Eyes still closed, he ran to Ralph and hugged his waist, resuming in crying into his stomach. The older boy, like any mother after scolding their child, reached out and pulled the little troublemaker closer, whispering soft words to soothe and gentle him. A sudden sense of responsibility came over Jack and he waited until the child had calmed down before crouching to his level and unlatching him from around Ralph's waist.

"Stop that" he said firmly but not spitefully, "What good are you doing crying like that?"

The sobbing turned to sniveling. Jack kept his gentle tone.

"It was an accident" he said, wiping away the tear that escaped from those childish eyes, "No one's to blame. It was an accident"

This act of kindness towards a littleun could easily have damaged Jack's reputation permanently. But he decided to forget about his authority for a second and focus on reassuring his child – well, almost his child. After a while Eric stopped crying and when he had, Jack got back to his feet and peered down at him and his brother whilst Ralph folded his arms again.

"What do you have to say to Jack?"

"We're sorry" the reply came in unison

"Good. Now, you're both going to help daddy mend his spear and there'll be no hunting trip for you tonight. Is that fair?"

A pause, before a reluctant nod.

"Good. Now give mummy a kiss"

* * *

A little clay and a few vines made the spear as good as new. Strictly speaking of course.

"I'm really impressed Jack" Ralph said as he admired the pile of shell necklaces he had made, "You were firm but kept your cool, like a proper grownup. I'm very proud of you"

"Yes well..." Jack felt his cheeks turn red as he wasn't used to praise, "They're only little kids after all. Anyway, it's only a spear. I'm glad neither of them got hurt"

"You're an old softie at heart" Ralph put on one of the necklaces with a white shell and gave a little twirl, "What do you think?"

Jack licked his lips, "I knew it. I knew there was a beast on this island. A _sexy_ beast that is"


	7. Parents will discourage you

"Tosser!"

Ralph felt his cheeks blaze red and he stopped gathering leaves for the fire. One of the littleun's, Johnny, had crept up behind him whilst he was working and this was his first speech.

"Tosser!" he said again, proudly.

Ralph dropped the leaves he was holding and stared at the littleun in horror.

"Johnny… did you just say what I thought you said?"

Johnny blinked, surprised that Ralph wasn't happy that he was using big words, "What? Tosser?"

"Johnny! You're never to say that again, you hear? It's very impolite! Where on _earth _did you hear a word like that?"

"Uncle Roger taught it to me"

"He _what_?"

"He said I needed to use a...wider range of vol-cab-u-lary"

Ralph rubbed his eyes with his hand, "I'm going to have to have a little word with Uncle Roger when he gets back from hunting. But you're never to say that word again Johnny, do you understand?"

"Yes Mummy. What're we having for dinner tonight?"

"Pig"

"Oh bollocks, not again"

"Don't tell me, Uncle Roger taught you that one too?"

"Yep"

"I don't care what Jack says. Next time, Simon babysits you and that's that"


	8. Parents will reconcile

There were times when the arguments would reach a crisis. Jack and Ralph had been arguing for weeks now. It seemed perfectly normal at first; they'd bicker, one of them would storm off, then they'd return all apologetic and they'd fall into each other's arms again. But this time it was different. The littleun's had overheard one of the arguments which had confirmed their suspicions. Ralph was moving to another part of the island. He was leaving the kids behind. He was leaving Jack for good. When the littleun's heard this, they'd cried and ran to Ralph and begged him not to go. But it was no good. There just wasn't enough room for two leaders. Being the increasing authoritarian he was, the last thing Jack wanted was someone putting him down and now was his opportunity to be in charge for a change.

He allowed the littleun's a vote of choice of course; half of them would stay with Ralph whilst the other half went with him. In the end it was SamnEric, Piggy, Simon and Ralph living on the beach with their shelters with some of the littleun's whilst Jack, Roger, Robert, Maurice and the rest of the littleun's (plus the bigun's) remained in the cave. Despite the fact he was now a chief, the absence of his beloved Ralph depressed Jack and his character changed for the worst. He lost his appetite, he rarely spoke unless he was giving a group meeting and his keen instinct for hunting was no longer there. After all, what was the point in hunting unless Ralph, his beautiful 'chiefess', was there to greet him when he arrived home? Whenever the littleun's tried to talk to him, he replied in a low growl but they were lucky if they even got a reply at all. A similar cloud had fallen over Roger, who'd been separated from Simon through all this. He'd begged the younger boy to come with him, but Ralph needed Simon's assistance with the littleun's down on the beach.

What fell between both tribes for the next few weeks was a long and aching silence. Ralph and Jack rarely saw each other anymore, whenever the tribe was in need of Piggy's spectacles to start a fire, he'd send Maurice or Robert out to borrow them from the others instead of going himself. Ralph kept as far from the cave as he could, as Jack kept away from the beach and whenever their paths did cross, it was by accident and no words were ever exchanged. Ralph showed no anger or resentment towards Jack whenever they saw each other, but whenever their eyes met Jack could tell that their break up had hurt him down to the soul. They both went back to living in their separate worlds, as it had been when they first came to the island; Ralph would spend all his time on the beach building shelters whilst Jack would waste his hours sitting in the cave, watching the littleun's playing outside. Roger went out, perfectly aware of the tension going on between the two boys but still, he went out. He'd go to see Simon most of the time and it pained the littleun's to know that the closer Simon and Roger got together, the further Jack and Ralph drifted apart.

This hostile behavior between the two tribes carried on until one day when the littleun's were moping around outside the cave, wandering what to do with themselves. They were missing Ralph more and more by the day and with Jack keeping himself well away from them, there was little to do except bother Uncle Roger – and that could prove fatal most of the time.

"I miss Ralph" Percival muttered, flicking stones off the ground.

"We _all_ miss him Percy" said Sam.

"I wish we'd gone with him instead. I hate Jack"

"Percy!" Eric exclaimed, "You can't say that about your dad!"

"He aint my dad!" Percival howled, stamping his foot on the ground, "My dad's as good as dead to me now! We're never going to see our parents again, never bloody again!"

"Oi! What have I told you about cursing?" a voice said from behind.

The littleuns turned to see a familiar face standing meters below them, on the rocks.

"_Mummy_!" they shrieked and began climbing down the rocks until they reached the older boy, whereupon they threw their arms around him and almost squeezed him to death. Ralph fought hard not to burst out into fresh tears. He clung to them, as if he could never let them go.

"We missed you" Sam mumbled into his shirt.

"I missed you all too" Ralph kissed each one of their heads, "Is Jack well?"

There was a moment of silence, interrupted by Eric.

"We don't like Jack anymore"

"Why not?"

"He never says anything. And we can hear him crying all the time and he always snaps at us if we try to talk to him. He scares me now"

Ralph sighed and hugged them all closer.

"Sam, Eric? Where have you all got to?"

The little bodies that were gathered around Ralph froze at the sound of the croaky, damaged voice from the cave above. Jack emerged, red eyed and dirty faced and looked down on the littleuns as if they were wolves ready to leap at him. When he saw Ralph, the colour left his cheeks.

"Hello Jack" Ralph said, arms still around most of the littleuns.

Jack didn't reply. He stared at Ralph, unable to make any noise. Piggy, Simon and the remaining littleuns appeared behind the younger boy and at the sight of Simon, Roger leapt down from the rocks and smothered him in a kiss. Watching the two embrace, Jack decided now was the time to speak.

"Ralph...I want to talk to you...alone"

Ralph nodded and the littleuns released him, allowing Jack to set down his spear and accompany the boy down the rocks and to the beach. The others waited anxiously, wandering what Jack was intending to do. If he was still angry at Ralph, perhaps he was angrier that Ralph had the nerve to return. SamnEric couldn't take it. When no one was looking they crept down the rocks after the two boys, making sure their presence was unknown. Jack and Ralph walked for some time before stopping at a small spot near one of the rock caves. Sam recognised that place as the spot where they shared their first kiss (he'd been watching from the bushes at the time.) They talked for a while, mostly Ralph asking Jack how the children had been.

"Upset" Jack answered truthfully and with no emotion, "They ask for you all the time"

"My lot do the same. They're always asking where daddy is"

"Poor things. So desperate for parents again"

Ralph scraped his foot against the sand and looked Jack properly in the eye, "_I_ wait for you as well Jack," he took a step forward so their chests were touching, "I can't sleep anymore, I'm thinking of you so much"

"I never asked you to think of me..."

"I can hardly forget about you"

The twins held their breath, wandering how Jack would react. The elder boy reached out and took both of Ralph's hands, stroking them carefully with his thumbs.

"Why did you come back Ralph?"

Ralph edged closer, brushing his lips against Jack's, "I really don't need to answer that"

They kissed; by _God_, they kissed as if they were starving. All of a sudden it felt as if the heaviest weight had been lifted and all of a sudden the darkness that had been shadowing the island lifted and the sun shone again.

When Jack and Ralph returned, their hands were linked and that gesture told the littleuns that their relationship was mended and the feud was over. They'd never laughed and danced so much in their lives.


	9. Parents will protect you

It wasn't Jack's fault. He knew that. But still, he blamed himself for what happened. And even though nothing truly terrible had happened, the memory would unsettle him for the rest of his life.

It is a parent's worse nightmare, losing a child. And an even worse nightmare is knowing your child is in danger.

It was not young Petey doing the wandering off this time; it was Percival. He had not yet learned from his last experience and curiosity had once again got the better of him. He and a few of the other littleun's were sitting on the beach being watched over by Simon when a small piglet came scurrying out of nowhere and darted into the trees. Most of them ignored it, they were used to pigs by now. But Percival became intrigued and after glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he crept after it. Jack and Ralph had told him never to go into the woods alone, but surely the piglet wouldn't wander too far.

He finally caught up to it as it paused to graze on some rotting fruit and gently reached out to touch it. It grunted at him, pressing the tip of its snout against his palm which made him giggle. The hunters weren't allowed to hunt piglets. Jack's rules. Percival preferred to play with them anyway and would have loved to have taken the little piglet home, but Ralph said it'd spoil the cave floor. Its grunts were high pitched and pathetic, which made him laugh more.

A noise suddenly erupted from behind him, a louder, deeper grunt. Percival turned to see the biggest pig he'd ever seen come hurtling towards him, tusks pointed outwards like swords. He screamed and remembered what Jack had told him to do if he ever came into the path of a rabid pig. He found the nearest tree he could and climbed it. It wasn't a big tree and the pig didn't seem to be ready to give up any time soon. It rammed its head against the trunk repeatedly, making it shake violently. Percival clung to a branch for dear life, terrified that anymore shaking would cause him to lose his grip.

* * *

Meanwhile on the beach, Jack was busy counting heads.

"Bill, Tom, Sam, Percival…Simon, where's Percival?"

"He was here a minute ago"

"We've lost him again" Jack slapped his hand against his forehead, "Ralph is going to _kill_ me"

"I saw him go into the woods" Bill said quietly.

Simon stared at him, "Why didn't you _say_ anything Bill?"

"HELP!"

A scream from the forest alerted them all and Jack gasped.

"Don't tell me he's gone into pig territory _again_" he groaned, grabbing his spear and running through the trees.

He followed the screams and found Percy clinging to one of the branches of the tree, a boar as big as a baby elephant pounding the trunk madly. Jack had never seen a boar so big. The hunters only hunted sows, never anything that big. He gripped his spear, feeling a tremble come to his hands.

"Jack!" Roger appeared from behind the bushes and on seeing the pig, the colour left his face, "Bloody hell…"

"Don't move" Jack said quietly, taking a step forward.

From the tree, Percy sobbed in fear. The pig sensed another predator behind it and turned its red eyes to Jack, as if inhaling his blood. A small glint of fear appeared in the chief's eyes but he held it back, determined not to be afraid. He was a hunter. Pigs lived in fear of his name.

"I'll distract it" Roger muttered, "You go and get Percy"

Jack nodded, and Roger started poking the beast with the blunt end of his spear, disgruntling it further but giving Jack the oppurtunity to edge around the tree to where Percival hung.

"Percy, let go" he whispered, setting down his spear and holding out his arms to the littleun.

Percy whimpered, unable to feel to unclench. He was trembling so hard his teeth chattered. The pig was dangerously close to Roger now, beginning to swing its head in anger.

"Come on Percy, you can do it"

The comfort of Jack's words settled the littleun a bit and he slowly began to let go of the branch into Jack's arms. All of a sudden the pig squealed and lunged at Roger, startling Percival so he let go and plummeted into Jack's arms. Jack turned to see Roger was now on the floor, bleeding from the mouth, his spear his only defence from the now furious pig who was slamming its feet against the ground and squealing blue murder. In a flash, Jack hid Percy in the bushes and tossed a stone at the pig's eye, delaying it long enough for Roger to scramble out of harm's way.

The pig rounded up on Jack, tossing its head in fury. Jack made sure he was shielding Percival completely before taking the sharp end of his spear and plunging it into the pig's snout, so several splashes of blood flew out and stained the ground. With an ear splitting roar, the beast shook the weapon from under its skin and took off once again into the forest, leaving a trail of red. Jack went and retrieved his spear, panting slightly in relief. It wouldn't last long after losing that much blood. They could track it down later and have it for supper if they were lucky.

He turned and went and lifted Percival out from the bushes. After setting him on the ground, he aimed a well earned smack against the littleun's thigh, making him squeak.

"What were you _thinking_?" he snapped, "What have I told you about going into the forest alone? You could have been killed!" his eyes flared up, "_Look_ at me when I'm speaking to you!" he aimed a smack on the other thigh.

Percival started sobbing, "I'm sorry" he kept mumbling, "I'm sorry..."

The littleun's tears soothed Jack's anger and he rubbed the red patch on his leg to ease the stinging pain, "Never, ever run off again" he surrounded the child in a hug, "Promise? You scared me Percy, you really..."

He trailed off and released a sob, which scared the littleun as parents weren't supposed to cry.

"Do you promise Percy?" Jack asked, his eyes wet.

Percival just nodded and tightened his grip around Jack's neck.

* * *

"Percy!" Ralph exclaimed when the two returned to the cave, "Never scare me like that again, you hear?" he lifted the littleun into his arms, "Are you alright baby?"

"He's fine. Wish I could say the same for Roger though" Jack said, nudging the older boy.

"Lay off, it's only a scratch" Roger laughed as Simon made a huge fuss over his bleeding lip, "Quit worrying Simon, I'm alright"

"I will _not_ stop worrying" Simon snapped, "Honestly, how do you expect me not to worry when you're always gallivanting off and almost getting yourself killed?" he started dabbing at Roger's lip with a leaf.

"I'm just glad you're safe" Ralph said, "We almost lost Petey, we don't need to lose another one"

"By the way mummy" Percival added after almost being suffocated in a hug, "I found something in the forest"

He scampered out of the cave and a few moments later returned carrying a small animal. Ralph blinked at the tiny piglet grunting softly in the littleun's arms, then sent Jack a razor sharp glare. Jack grinned sheepishly and shrugged. Percy bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Can we keep it mummy? Pleeaase…?"


	10. Parents will do their best

"And then the mother cat found her kitten and they lived happily ever after"

Jack looked around to see if anyone was actually starting to drift off, but the littleun's were wide awake - except for Bill who was snoring away as always.

"Oh come on, that's the fifth story I've told you, you _must_ be tired by now" Jack groaned, rubbing his eyes.

"Tell us another one daddy, _please_"

"Yeah, tell us the one about how you and mummy first met"

"You _know _how we first met, you were there" Jack shook his head, "No more stories, you need to sleep"

"I'm _thirsty_" whined Tom, "I want a drink"

"You're not thirsty Tom, stop lying. You had a drink before bed, I saw you. Now go to sleep. That means you too SamnEric, it's been an hour already, sleep. "

"Daddy, I need the toilet" Percival said.

"You can't go to the toilet, it's too dark. I know where you _can_ go though. To _sleep_"

"What about our goodnight kiss?" Petey asked, "Mummy always gives us a goodnight kiss"

"Well your mother's not…alright, alright. There, done, now go to sleep. Why are you crying Johnny?"

"I want my teddy bear"

"Your teddy's not here Johnny, its back in merry old England. Sleep with Percy's pig instead. Now close your eyes and sleep"

"Can I have a glass of water?" Eric asked.

"I am _not_ walking all the way down to the river at this time of night. Now go to-"

"Daddy?" Sam mumbled.

"What is it now?"

"I'm scared"

Jack blinked, "Why?"

"I'm scared of having nightmares about the beast. I had one yesterday and it was horrible"

Feeling guilty, Jack sighed, "Alright, alright. _One_ more story and that's it"

A small cheer went through the crowd of littleun's and they gathered round to hear Jack's story.

"I can't quite describe the feeling I felt when I first met your mother. You could say it was a ravenous feeling – I hadn't eaten a damn thing since we'd got on that plane – but it was certainly a feeling I'd never felt before. I can still remember how gorgeous he looked in that school uniform. How the maroon red really bought out his eyes, how those shorts showed off his legs really well. And I remember seeing him on that hill, holding the conch, with the wind in his hair. And I remember thinking, "wow, he's the one. He's definitely the one." I also remember thinking, "Gee, it's roasting. Time to strip off" And then came married life and parenthood and I can still remember the joy I felt when Petey caught his first pig. My, that was a happy moment. Boy, if only my father was here to see this. He would have loved this, he would have been so proud of you guys…"


	11. Parents will discipline you

His experience with the littleuns had taught Jack how to keep his patience. He was nowhere near as hot headed as he used to be but still, he had a limit and it was only a matter of time before someone overstepped the line.

And as you guessed, someone did.

It'd been a tough day for both Ralph and Jack; Percival hadn't slept a wink all night and was now curled up on Simon's lap snoring, whilst Simon was attempting to sort through SamnEric's dirty clothes that needed washing. SamnEric, now clad in only their underwear, had decided to play tag in the cave and were running around like mad things, the noise making Peter upset so he started crying to voice his disapproval. Ralph was currently in the middle of breaking up a squabble between Bill and Tom, who were arguing over who got to play with Percival's pig. The pig, just to add to it all, was grunting at the top of its tiny lungs just to join in with the chorus of noise.

"Can we _please_ have some peace and quiet around here!" Roger bellowed from outside, as he, Maurice and Robert stood on guard with their ears covered.

The noise continued, unfazed.

"You know, you could give me a hand Jack!" Ralph called to the red head as he held Tom and Bill at arm's length to stop them from killing each other, "They're your kids too!"

Jack said nothing. He was drumming his fingers against a rock, the noise making the pressure build up until he felt he'd explode. Something shot out of the air and hit the back of his head, a stone, not for him but for Bill who had managed to duck from Tom's aim. It set off the trigger alright. Jack leapt to his feet and bellowed;

"EVERYBODY FREEZE!"

In a second the cave fell silent.

SamnEric stopped on their tracks. Percival jerked awake on Simon's lap. Peter stifled a sob until his lip trembled. Bill and Tom stopped arguing, hands paused in mid air. Even the pig was mute. Roger and the others peered round the entrance of the cave. They all stared at Jack, dumbfounded.

"That's it, I've _had_ it!" Jack thundered, "SamnEric, get some clothes on right now! Bill, give Tom that goddamn pig! Percival, wake up already, you can sleep later! Peter, don't you dare start crying or so help me!"

Ralph eyed Simon, who snorted with laughter, as the littleuns obeyed him like machines. They'd never moved so quickly, not even when Roger instructed them.

"Bloody hell Jack…" Ralph said quietly, looking up at his partner.

Jack winced, waiting to be scolded. Instead, two arms wrapped around his neck and he met a pair of proud blue eyes.

"…that was _amazing_"


	12. Parents will surprise you

Jack always thought Ralph couldn't sing. That's where he was wrong.

It was late one night when Jack returned with the littleuns from their hunting trip. It'd been a lucky catch – two sows in one, so they wouldn't be going hungry anytime soon. The littleuns were excited as they usually were after a hunting trip but Tom – Ralph noticed – was oddly quiet. This didn't seem abnormal at first; Tom was a very shy character and preferred not to bounce around and get over excited too quickly. But Ralph grew even more concerned when Tom turned down his dinner and said he wasn't hungry. Tom may have been quiet, but he _never_ lost his appetite.

It was at bedtime when Ralph knew there was something seriously wrong. When the others had finished eating and drunk their water, Jack announced that it was time for the littleuns to turn in. As usual, the littleuns obeyed without hesitation. Tom, however, hung back and stared down at his feet, not budging.

Jack glanced at him, thinking he hadn't heard the first time, "Tom, go to bed"

Tom shuffled a little but didn't move. When Jack turned and saw the littleun hadn't moved from his position, he frowned.

"Tom. Go to bed"

"Don't want to" a little voice muttered.

Hearing this, the other littleuns turned and gasped. Jack's eyebrows slanted downwards.

"_What_ did you say?"

Tom's knees trembled but he stood firm, "I-I don't want to"

Riled, Jack went over and took him by the wrist, unsure of what he was going to do next. Everyone tensed up and Percival burst into tears.

"See what you did Tom? Now you're going to get smacked! We all have to watch you get smacked! I hate it when that happens, I _hate_ it!" he covered his eyes, "Just get it over with so we can all go to sleep!"

Tom whimpered in Jack's hold. Ralph – who couldn't really stomach public punishment either – went and gently put his hands on Percival's shoulders.

"No one's going to get smacked Percy. Tom, come here"

After some hesitation, Jack released Tom and allowed him to scurry over to Ralph. He looked up at the blonde nervously, awaiting a scolding. None came, as Ralph then lifted the little treasure onto his lap and sat himself down on one of the rocks. The fear didn't leave.

"Are you going to smack me mummy?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

Ralph smiled and kissed his forehead, "No, I'd never hurt you Tom, you know that. Tell me why you don't want to go to bed"

Tom licked his lips nervously, "I don't like my bed"

"Why not?"

"…the beast might be in it"

"The beast?" Ralph almost laughed, "Tom, who on earth told you that?"

"SamnEric"

Ralph gave the twins a warning look and they shrunk behind Maurice.

"I'll be having words with SamnEric later" he said, turning back to the littleun on his lap, "There's no beast Tom, they're just teasing. Your bed is fine"

Tom bent his head, not wanting to show his tears, "I'm still scared…"

Ralph sighed, folding a lock of Tom's dark hair behind his ear. The child buried his face in the older boy's chest and resumed in his tears whilst Ralph took the time to rock and calm him. Back in England, Ralph's mother always sung to him when he was upset or scared. He'd always sworn never to let anyone hear him sing. To him, his voice was disgusting. But he decided now was not time to dwell on his pride. He took a deep breath and started;

_"Baby mine, don't you cry._

_Baby mine, dry your eyes._

_Rest your head close to my heart,_

_Never to part,_

_Baby of mine."_

The crying softened and Tom looked up through teary eyes, as Ralph slowly began to dry them with his thumbs. He'd never heard Ralph sing before, none of them had. But it was a beautiful voice, as beautiful as Jack's. He went on;

_"Little one when you play,_

_Don't you mind what they say._

_Let those eyes sparkle and shine,_

_Never a tear,_

_Baby of mine."_

From the corner, Simon put his head on Roger's shoulder, gently linking their hands. Yes, it was soppy, but for once Roger didn't mind. The littleuns, overcome with sudden drowsiness, curled up next to Maurice and Robert, already starting to snore gently. Ralph continued;

_"If they knew sweet little you,_

_They'd end up loving you too._

_All those same people who scold you_

_What they'd give just for the right to hold you."_

From the corner, Jack watched Ralph rocking little Tom as everyone fell into sleep around them. There was something about Ralph's voice that deeply moved him. It reminded him of his mother, of his home back in England. He felt his eyes glass over and a tear escaped his eye. He caught it quickly, hoping no one had seen. Fortunately they hadn't, they were all asleep, as was Tom on Ralph's lap. Deciding to finish his song, Ralph gently lay the littleun down into his bed of leaves.

_"From your head to your toes,_

_You're so sweet, goodness knows._

_You're so precious to me,_

_Cute as can be,_

_Baby of mine."_

Ralph smiled down at the sleeping child then turned ready to go to bed himself. When he met Jack's eyes, his cheeks went red.

"Alright Jack" he said quietly, "Go on, tell me what I already know. I have an awful voice and I should never sing again. It's alright, I know. You don't need to rub it-"

He was silenced by a kiss on the lips.

"That was beautiful Ralph" Jack said quietly, "Even if you have to work on your C sharps"

Ralph giggled, embarrassed, and blushed even harder.


	13. Parents will let down their guard

"Daddy…_daddy_?"

Jack stirred, but kept his eyes closed. Ralph was asleep in his arms beside him, smiling slightly in his slumber. He was dreaming of chasing rabbits again, Jack knew it. Something was tugging in an irritable manner on his arm and when he finally opened his eyes and looked properly into the darkness, he could make out the lone figure of one of his children crouched in front of him. Which one it was, he couldn't work out.

"Daddy?"

"Whatisit?" Jack mumbled, pulling Ralph closer to him.

"Can I sleep with you?"

Jack looked up properly, "What you say?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Absoloutely not!" Jack hissed, "Now go back to your own bed"

"I _can't_"

"Don't give me that. You've managed fine sleeping by yourself up until this point"

"That was before…" the littleun trailed off, "…you know, the _beast_"

Jack groaned, "For the last time Johnny-"

"I'm _Bill_"

"For the last time Bill, there is no beast. The beast was just some lame prank made up by SamnEric to scare Percival out of bathtime. How many times do I have to tell you lot?"

Bill said nothing. His bottom lip began trembling violently.

"Oh no you don't" Jack's hand shot out and covered the littleun's mouth before he could utter so much as a sob, "Don't you _dare_ start crying. You'll wake your mother. Alright, you can sleep with us tonight and _only_ tonight. But first I am laying down some ground rules. No snoring, no sleeptalking, no wetting the bed and most of all, no crying. We good?"

"Mmmm…Jack?" Ralph mumbled, feeling someone sliding in between them, "What's going on?"

"Go back to sleep Ralph" Jack replied, "That's it. Next time SamnEric conjure up this type of palaver, they're going straight to time-out"


	14. Parents will advise

Sam entered the cave mid-morning when Jack was halfway through sharpening his spear and Ralph was trimming the sides off a pig carcass and coughed nervously, hoping to grab their attention.

"You alright Sam?" Jack asked without looking up.

Sam didn't reply. He nibbled the dead skin on his bottom lip awkwardly.

"Can I talk to you two?"

Ralph sensed fear in his voice, "Of course"

Sam went and sat down beside Ralph, taking his time to find the right words.

"Mummy…daddy…I have something to tell you"

"Well, go ahead then" Jack said, wandering what Sam had broken this time.

"…promise you'll still love me?"

"What?"

"Promise you'll still love me if I tell you"

"Don't be silly, of _course_ we'll still love you" said Ralph, giving him a hug, "Now tell us what's wrong, you've gone all shaky"

Sam hadn't noticed his arms were trembling. He pinned them down to his sides quickly.

"Well, the thing is…you remember when daddy had that hunting trip and I never showed up?"

"The one where Petey fell into the marsh and had to walk around looking like a swamp monster all day? Yes, I remember"

"You know how when you asked me where I was that day, I told you I'd been fruit picking?"

"Yes"

"Well, the thing is…I lied"

Jack frowned, "So what _were _you doing?"

"…I was with Percival"

Ralph could see where this was going, "I see. And what exactly were you and Percival _doing_?"

"We went for a walk…and then I kissed him"

Jack and Ralph stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You kissed him? But Sam, he's only seven years old!" Ralph said in surprise.

"Yeah and I thought I made it clear that none of you littleuns are to take part in any intimate activity until you're thirteen!" Jack added in.  
"I'm know, I'm sorry" Sam said miserably, "But Percival's really nice… and it was just a little kiss on the cheek!"

"A kiss is a kiss" Jack said sternly.

Sam bent his head, "Are you angry with me?"

Ralph sighed and lifted his chin, "No. But I still think you're too young to start anything serious. Just be friends for now. And when you're older you can move onto-"

"Getting physical!"

"_Jack_!"


	15. Parents will wear themselves out

Jack entered the cave in a huff, letting his spear drop onto the floor. Ralph was in the corner, nursing Percival's pig and he acknowleged his partner come in and plant a quick kiss on his cheek.

"How was your day?" the blonde asked without looking up.

"Terrible" Jack muttered, "We were attacked by a flock of birds thanks to Percival, SamnEric got into a mudfight and somehow Petey managed to find a very interesting wasps nest in the middle of the forest. Turned out they didn't take too kindly to being poked with a stick"

The red head groaned and slumped onto the floor on his stomach, resting his head on his arms. He closed his eyes, too exhausted to care about the rocks sticking into his chest, but for some reason he couldn't sleep. It was too uncomfortable. He sighed and winced at his aching shoulders. He was working too hard. He knew that.

Ralph watched Jack on the floor for a while and even he had to admit that the red head looked a little haggard. He set the piglet down and went and sat on the small of Jack's back, gently starting to massage his shoulders. At first Jack grunted in pain a little bit but after some handiwork from Ralph's fingers he relaxed and let some soft, pleasured moans escape his lips. Ralph continued rubbing over Jack's shoulders and then moved down to his back, where after some time he heard a satisfying crack.

"Yep" Jack squeaked, "That's the spot"

"Feel better?"

"Yeah"

Ralph leaned down and started planting kisses along Jack's neck, gently nuzzling.

"Baby, you're so _tense_"

"Yeah well, I'm a working man"

"You need to take a break"

"You never get a break when you have children"

"Well, they're not here now" Ralph smiled, "We have at least ten minutes to ourselves"

Jack grinned and turned onto his back, "You are_ naughty_"

He pulled Ralph down and slid his tongue into the blonde's mouth, tangling his fingers in his hair. Ralph was just about to start removing his shirt when he suddenly jerked away from Jack, gasping.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked, worried.

"I don't know…" Ralph felt his stomach, pressing gently, "…Jack…"

"Oh God" Jack stared at him, wide eyed, "You're not having a baby are you?"

"No, no, no, it must be a stomach virus. Percy had one the other day"

"Oh…_oh_" Jack gave him a strange look, "Er…is it very contagious?"

"Look on the bright side. If you get sick too, we'll have even more time together"

"…I like your thinking"

Ralph smiled, though he was starting to feel a little queasy, and rested his head on Jack's chest, listening to him breathe.

"…Hey Ralph?"

"Yeah?"

"…You _would_ tell me if you were having a baby, right?"

"Jack, I'm not pregnant"


	16. Parents will fight

**Okay, so I was watching Family Guy and they had this amazing cutaway and I could so see this happening between Jack and Ralph. I had this idea of husband cheating on wife with sister-in-law type thing. Hope you like x**

* * *

"Bloody…thing…" Jack muttered, dragging the enormous pig by its tail into the cave.

It'd been a successful hunt; two sows and a boar. Only thing was, the stupid animals weighed a ton. He managed to drag it to the cave door, whereupon he dropped it before his arms fell off. Turning around, he noticed Ralph sitting on one of the rocks watching him, arms folded and legs crossed. He didn't look his usual happy, pretty self.

"Did you have a nice day?" he asked flatly.

Jack shrugged, "S'okay"

There was a pause, as Jack bent down and took out his knife, starting to skin the pig.

"You know, our son got into your side of the cave again today" Ralph said, his voice keeping its flat tone.

Jack paused a minute, "Which one?"

"Percival, Jack"

"Okay."

"Anything in there maybe you wouldn't have wanted him to see?"

"…no"

"Really…?" Ralph's voice was getting tenser, "Are you sure you and another boy from the tribe didn't get a bit _intimate_ over there"

Jack stopped what he was doing completely, whipping around to look at is partner, "_No_"

Ralph stared at him in disbelief, "Then how do you explain _this_?"

He produced a slightly torn shirt from behind his back and threw it at Jack's face. It belonged to Simon.

"I did nothing wrong!" Jack screwed the piece of clothing up and threw it away, "He came here, asked if he could borrow some spare clothes after he bathed and changed on my side of the cave! Nothing happened, we're just friends!"

"A likely story!" Ralph stood, hands on hips, "I suppose he just gave you that hickey as your "friend" as well!"

Jack glanced at his collarbone, "Ralph, _you_ gave that to me!"

"Stop trying to change the subject! This isn't about me Jack, this is about you!"

"Oh come on Ralph, do you find yourself so unattractive that you think I'm cheating on you whenever I look at another boy?"

"Don't do that!"

"Do _what_?"

"Make out like it's _my_ fault!"

"Of course it's your fault! All I want to do is come home, have dinner after a long hard day's hunt and does the wife say, 'Hello dear, how was your day?' No. Instead he accuses me of cheating on him!"

"You're the one who hasn't paid attention to me for two months! You with your hunting and pig-slaying! For God's sake, it's like I'm married to some kind of sadist! Do you know what this is about? This is about your disrespect for me-"

"Oh come on-"

"-this family and everything we stand for!"

"God Ralph, I know how jealous you are of Simon because he's younger and has curvier hips but there's no need to run around accusing him of adultery! It's want you want isn't it, you've always wanted to be Simon!"

"Well you know what? At least Simon's husband cares about his family!"

"_Roger_? You've got to be kidding me!"

From outside, Maurice and Robert were busy sharpening their spears when Roger appeared with the littleuns marching behind him.

"What's all the noise about?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Chief are having a domestic" Maurice said, not looking up.

"About what?"

"Ralph thinks Jack got it off with your Simon."

"_What_?"

"Ugh, I can't even talk to you when you're like this!" Ralph yelled from the cave.

"Oh I see, it's over now because _you_ say it is! Way to go Ralph, you solve all our problems by just walking away! And it's so obvious I don't care about our family! I just killed a 700-pound pig with a stick and a rock!"

"That doesn't make you a man, Jack!"

"Oh, heeeere we go! Here's act two of the performance! Ralph_ pretends_ to leave home for the twentieth time! Y'know what Ralph, go! I'm not gonna stop you! _Go_!"

"Cue Ralph storming out..." Robert muttered.

There was a thudding sound and Ralph emerged from the cave, fists clenched.

"Screw you Jack!" he stormed past the others and down towards the slope.

Jack emerged from the cave with a black eye, "Oh yeah! Well maybe if you did that more often, I wouldn't need to look for other boys!"

He turned to see the others staring at him.

"And what the hell are _you_ looking at!?"

* * *

"Aren't you guys bothered about Jack and Ralph splitting up?" Piggy asked that evening, as they were cutting up the pig.

"Nah, they haven't split up" Maurice said, tearing off a strip.

"Yeah, they always do this" Robert added, "In fact, Ralph should be back right about-"

"Jack!" they all turned to see Ralph emerge from the trees, scratched by the thorns. At the sight of him, Jack stood and everyone held their breath.

"Jack…" Ralph tripped as he came out of the bush, then regained his posture, "Jack, I didn't mean to say all those horrible things to you! I _love_ you!"

"Oh God, I love you too Ralph!" Jack ran over and picked the smaller boy up, connecting their lips for the biggest kiss the others had ever seen, "Let's never argue again okay?"

"It's a deal, Mr. Merridew"

Robert winked at the littleuns as the two lovebirds went back into the cave together, Jack still carrying Ralph in his arms.

"Told ya" he said, "Just wait until next time though. Someone will probably end up deader than the pig!"


	17. Parents will stick up for you

There was a reason to celebrate on the island that night. Percival had caught his first pig – for real this time. He'd shoved it right up the arse like Jack had told him to and it'd conked out just like that…after Roger had done a little twisting.

Jack held the feast that night and all the boy's got a chance to sample the wild sow, which they could safely say was the best pig they'd ever sank their teeth into.

After they'd devoured the poor swine, Simon jumped up and announced they should dance. Everyone seemed enthusiastic at this idea and grabbed a partner – even Roger allowed Simon to drag him up for a dance. Jack stayed behind on this "throne" – which was actually just a tree stump with some leaves around it. Ralph was knelt beside him; head on his lap whilst Jack rubbed his fingers through his chiefess' hair and smiled down at him. The littleun's were spread out around them, banging sticks together to make music (though there was a lack of melody.) Percival noticed that all the "grownups" were dancing except for Jack and Ralph. That seemed wrong to him. They'd gone to the trouble of arranging this celebration for him. They deserved the opportunity to let their hair down.

He patted Ralph on the arm to get his attention, "Why don't you go and dance too Mama?"

Ralph lifted his head from Jack's lap and looked down at the littleun, "Dance? Well…I'd love to but…someone needs to watch you littleun's-"

"We'll watch 'em" SamnEric cut in.

Sam took Ralph by the wrist and Eric did the same with Jack, "Now you two go up there and show 'em how it's done!"

Jack glanced at Ralph, "Well…?"

The blonde looked down at the faces pleading for them to go and dance and sighed, "Alright. But make sure you watch Petey _like a hawk_. Understood?"

"Aye, aye, Mama Bear!"

With that response, Jack took Ralph's hand and they slowly made their way over to where the other boy's were dancing. The littleun's watched them with utmost curiosity as they began slow dancing together, a little awkwardly at first but eventually getting into it a bit more. Soon they were in each other's arms, Ralph's head resting underneath Jack's chin as they turned slowly in circles. After a while, the others were so distracted by the couple dancing, they forgot to dance themselves.

"D'you remember when Mummy and Daddy got married?" Percival asked Eric as they watched the two in each other's embrace.

"Yeah…" Eric grinned, cradling Petey on his knee, "…Daddy made Ralph that ring out of the wood from his spear and proposed right in front of all of us!"

"It was a bit worrying when Mama fainted and Simon and Maurice had to throw all that water over him." Sam scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah and when he finally came to he thought he'd been dreaming. Then we showed him the ring and he fainted _again_." Bill giggled at the memory.

"I remember the wedding!" Petey piped up, "We were the bridesmaids!"

"Only you couldn't throw your flowers properly and ended up hitting Uncle Roger in the eye." Tom added in.

"He made sure my backside was smarting for a week after that." Petey shuddered.

"He didn't _actually_ smack you did he?"

"He did." Said Bill, "I were watching. He turned your bottom the colour of Daddy's hair right after the ceremony. Then you started crying and ran to Mama and when Jack found out what Uncle Roger had done, he went and punched him right in the mouth!"

"I remember that." Said Eric, "And he told him if he ever laid a hand on anyone of us, it'd be _his_ butt that'd be smarting."

"Mama said that's what you're supposed to do when someone smacks your child." Said Sam.

"What? Punch 'em in the mouth?"

"No you dope, stick up for your kid."

"I used to be scared of Daddy." Petey glanced back over to Jack, who was talking softly into Ralph's ear, "But I love him now. He's nowhere near as scary as I thought he was."

"Yeah, Jack's a teddy bear really." Sam smirked, "He acts like he's hard as a rock but deep down inside he's a great big soft-"

"_Ahem_."

Eric craned his head around to seen the taller figure of Jack looming above him, one arm holding Ralph, the other on his hip.

"H-hi Daddy…" the littleun's mumbled, grinning sheepishly.

"I think you've all had enough excitement for one night." Jack said, a twinkle in his eye, "It's high time you were all in bed."

"But Daddy…" Bill's statement was followed by a large yawn, "…we're not _sleepy_ yet…"

"Little fibber." Jack ruffled his hair affectionately, "C'mon, bedtime. Teddy bear's orders." He directed this at Sam.

The older twin blushed and pulled Petey onto his feet, "You heard the man. Hop to it!"


	18. Parents will grin and bear it

"Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad!"

"I'm in the cave."

"Dad!"

"I'm in the cave!"

"Dad! Dad!"

"I _said_ I'm in the-"

Bill came hurtling in at full speed, not even stopping to draw breath, "Mama says I can't stay up to go hunting with you because it's past my bedtime but that's not fair because everyone else gets to go and Aunt Simon says I'm a growing boy and…it's not faaaaiir!"

Jack sighed, "Listen Bill, I don't think-"

"Tell Mummy to let me go. Pleeeeeaaaase!"

"Well I suppose I could-"

"Daddy!" Tom leaped out of nowhere, almost startling Jack to death, "If Bill's going hunting, can we go too?"

"Look Tom, I think you're a little too young to-"

"Can _I_ go too Daddy?" asked Johnny, tugging at Jack's arm.

"Me too?" Percival tugged at the other arm.

"Erm…" Jack looked around and realised he was outnumbered; surrounded by a sea of pleading faces.

Now he knew what _real_ fear was.

"…I suppose I _could_ have a word with your mother-"

"Hooray!"

Jack felt all the breath leave his lungs as what seemed like a thousand arms wrapped themselves around his waist and squeezed. When they finally let go, he almost collapsed with relief.

"Can I use my spear Daddy? Can I stab the pig up the arse again?" Percival asked eagerly.

"Yes."

"Can I trap the pig?"

"Yes."

"Will there be lots of blood?"

"I suppose so."

"Can my pig come?"

"I don't see why not."

"Can we play hide and seek afterwards?"

"Yes."

"Can we use Petey as bait?"

"No."

"Can I wear my war paint?"

"Yes."

"Can we poke that massive pig with a stick again?"

"No."

"Daddy, do you know where babies come from?" Tom suddenly asked out of the blue.

"Well actually I-"

"Of course he does, Daddy knows everything!" Bill said, looking up at the red head, "Right Daddy?"

"Um-"

"Everyone knows where babies come from, silly." Percival rolled his eyes as if it was obvious, "The _baby shop_, of course."

"That's ridiculous." Said Johnny, "Babies come from storks, isn't that right Daddy?"

"Well, I-"

"Uncle Roger said that when you have a baby, you get all _hor-mo-nal_ and cry a lot. Mama's been crying a bit recently." Said Johnny.

Bill gasped, "Is Mummy having a baby?"

Jack flushed red, "No, he's-"

"I hope it's a boy!" Tom clapped his hands together excitedly, "We can call him Raymond!"

"Boys, Ralph's not-"

"_Raymond_?" Johnny pulled a disgusted face, "_Alistair_ is a better name. It's more _dis-tin-gu-ished_. Mummy taught me that word."

Jack slapped his forehead, "Johnny-"

"I think we should call him Harry. Harry's nice and simple."

"Percival-"

"Jack's a good name! How about Jack?"

"Tom-"

"We can't call him Jack. Daddy's name is Jack. And anyway, Jack's boring."

"_Bill_!"

"What do _you_ think Daddy?" Percival looked up at him again, "What should his name be?"

Jack's cheeks flushed harder, "Ralph's not-"

"Quit bothering Daddy." Johnny said, "He doesn't want to talk to you. He hates you!"

Percival looked stunned, then hurt, "What?"

"It's true." Johnny folded his arms and nodded, "I heard him the other day talking to Mummy. He said 'our Percival's a difficult one.' He said it clear as a bell, didn't you Daddy?"

Jack was now crimson, "Now, Johnny, I didn't say it like that-"

"And then he started talking about Mummy's hips. He said they were _sek-see_. Whatever that means."

Jack buried his face in his hands, "Oh God, how much of that did you hear?"

"Anyway, he still hates you." Johnny beamed proudly.

Percival's eyes welled up, "Does not!"

"Does too! He wants to send you off to another part of the island and- ooowww!"

"Stop fighting you two!" Jack reached over and pulled them apart, "Percival, that wasn't nice. Say sorry!"

"Do you _really_ hate me Daddy?" Percival stared at him through wet eyes.

"Of course I-"

"Of course he does!" Johnny butted in, lip sore from where Percival had smacked him, "He loves me more than you, don't you Daddy?"

"I love you both-"

"Liar!" Tom cut in, "He loves _me_ more!"

"No, me, _me_!" Said Bill.

"Who'd you love the most Daddy?" Johnny asked and they all peered at him, grinning.

"Err…" Jack looked at all the faces, beginning to sweat.

"I'm bored." Percival said suddenly, wiping his eyes, "Can we play a game before we go hunting Daddy?"

"Erm-"

"Yeah! Let's play a game!" said Johnny, leaping up, "We can be the kittens and Daddy can be the Daddy cat."

Jack looked aghast, "…Daddy cat?"

"Yeah! You can purr and meow and act real cute and bathe all us little kittens-"

"D'you know what?" Jack leapt up, "I think I hear your mother calling you!"

The others jerked their heads to the mouth of the cave, "Really?"

"Yep! That's definitely Ralph! You better go quickly and see what he wants!"

"But aren't you going to punish Percival for hitting me?" Johnny pouted.

Jack gritted his teeth, "Mummy's waiting."

There was a pause, then a squeal of excitement, "Okay!"

They all scurried off, chattering at the same time.

"I'm going to ask Mummy what day the baby is coming!"

"I'm going to stab another pig!"

"Is Johnny going to wet himself again?"

As soon as they were gone, Jack breathed tensely through his nose and collapsed onto the cave floor. _Finally_, the sound of silence. Nothing to bother him, no irritating voices calling out that familiar nickname-

"Daddy?"

"_What_?!" Jack shot up and whirled around to see what little terror wanted his attention now.

Petey blinked up at him, surprised, and slowly handed him half a coconut, filled to the brim with water.

"You looked a bit tired." He said, looking a bit embarrassed, "So I got you a drink."

Jack glanced down at the swirling water, then set the coconut down on the cave floor and took the silly little thing in his arms, giving him a soft cuddle.

"Thanks Petey…"


	19. Parents will call in the cavalry

Jack subtly craned his head around the entrance of the cave, spying on Roger who was chewing on the leftovers of the pig they'd eaten the previous night (thinking no one could see him.)

"Roger?"

The sound of choking was heard, then shuffling and finally Roger turned and wiped the grease away from his mouth, "Chief?"

"I need a favour."

"Anything you want."

"Do you mind watching the kids for a while?"

The colour seemed to leave Roger's face, "Um…"

"I know I'm asking a lot." Jack pleaded, "But it's I and Ralph's anniversary and Piggy is on fire watch tonight."

"Where're you going?"

"The beach. I need to make it special since it's also the anniversary of the day I let the fire go out and we missed the boat which could have taken us home."

"Oh yeah... but can't Maurice and Robert watch them?"

"Maurice needs to wash his hair…and for some reason, Robert needs to help him."

Roger sighed, "Alright."

"Ta Roge." Jack punched his shoulder, "I knew I could rely on you. Ralph and I will only be gone a few hours."

"But how am I supposed to keep that lot happy for a few hours?" Roger looked ashen at the thought.

"Well you could…take them for a walk."

"A walk? Come on Jack. How could that possibly work?"

"Just play some games with them. They _like_ you Roger, you'll do great. And besides, Simon will be there to help you."

"Well, in that case…"

"Just make sure Petey doesn't wander off, keep Tom and Bill away from the trees and if you see any pigs-"

"Stick a spear up its arse. I know."

"Good. I'll see you later then."

"Oh Jack, one more thing."

"What?"

"I'm allowed to smack 'em if they're bad, right?"

"_No_, Roger."

* * *

"Percival. Percival, come here! Tom, heel! Petey, put that down! _Will_ you put that down!"

"Roger." Simon shook his head at him, "They're _kids_, not puppies."

"I knew this was a bad idea." Roger muttered, as they tore through the forest, making sure the littleuns were still in his eye view, "I still don't understand why we had to bring the bloody pig." He tugged at the creeper that was attached around the piglet's neck, "Wemys Madison, leave that alone."

Percival had insisted on allowing his pig to come on the walk – though Ralph had stated that it needed to be on a lead at all times. It'd also been Percival who'd named the pig (though that was hardly surprising.)

As soon as they'd set foot in the forest, the littleuns had all dashed off in different directions, giving the two boys only a few seconds to decided who to go after. They decided to follow Petey, as he was most prone to injuring himself, and allow the remaining littleuns to do as they pleased.

"Just relax." Simon caught up with Petey and lifted him off the ground, "Jack and Ralph will be back in a few hours and we'll have some time to ourselves."

The thought made Roger smirk.

"Aunt Simon!" Bill called from the bushes, "Can we play hide-and-seek?"

"Of course you can."

Roger's smile disappeared, "No. No hide-and-seek."

"_Roger_."

"I am _not_ playing hide-and-seek Simon. I have a reputation you know."

Simon sighed, "Fine, _I'll_ play with them."

Happy with this response, Roger rubbed his tense shoulders, "God, I sometimes wonder how Jack and Ralph cope."

"I don't know." Simon tickled Petey's tummy, watching the littleun giggle in response, "I wouldn't mind having a kid myself. I'd love to have a baby of my own."

Roger's smile disappeared, "Really? Why?"

"I just like the thought of having a baby around." Simon sighed, "Imagine what _our_ baby would look like."

Roger went beetroot red and spluttered, "D-d-do you know what? Hide-and-seek sounds great! All right you lot, get into pairs! We're playing hide-and-seek! What do you mean you're too tired? For goodness sake Johnny, walk it!"

"Men really are a mystery." Simon said, as he watched his partner get brutally defeated in the simplest of games, "But I suppose that's what I love about them. They make life all the more exciting. Wouldn't you agree, Wemys Madison?"

The piglet grunted in reply.


	20. Parents will always worry

"Ralph, I'm taking Wemys Madison for a walk." The red head called, attaching the creeper around the piglet's neck.

"_Again_? He went this morning."

"Yeah well…" Jack glanced at the stocky little creature, "…he could use the exercise."

"But I thought we could maybe let Piggy watch the kids today so we could spend some time together."

"That sounds nice Ralph…but….you see, I promised Percival I'd teach him how to play tic-tac-toe and-"

"Jack, what's up with you?" Ralph folded his arms, "You never want to spend time with me anymore." He bent his head so his hair fell into his eyes, "I'm beginning to think you're starting to find me unattractive."

"No, no, no! Of course not!" Jack dashed over to him, accidentally kicking Wemys Madison in the process, "I don't think that at all!"

"Then why can't we _do_ something together?" Ralph put his arms around the elder boy's neck, "Let's go somewhere. The beach, the forest, _anywhere_."

Jack lowered his eyes, looking doubtful, "I want to Ralph…but…I'm worried."

"Worried?"

"I'm worried something will happen to you."

"To _me_? Jack, all _you_ need to worry about is getting dinner in on time!"

"Yeah but…I worry that something will happen to you and I won't be able to save you."

"Jack-"

"Like, what if a pig got you? I couldn't stand it if you got hurt."

"Jack, I'll be fine." Ralph gently brushed their lips together, "Promise me you'll stop worrying?"

Jack managed a smile, "I can't make any promises." He thought a moment, then added, "Do you know what? Let's go to the beach. Fat- I mean, Piggy can look after the children."

Ralph's eyes gleamed, "Really? You mean it? Just you and me?"

"Just you and me."

Ralph tangled his fingers in Jack's hair and snuck his tongue into his mouth.

* * *

If there was an award for wandering off, Petey would certainly win it.

It was all Piggy's fault of course; he was meant to be watching the littleun's. Unfortunately a pig decided to make off with his glasses so he'd been a bit occupied for a few minutes, long enough for little Petey to go wandering off and vanish into thin air. Again.

Jack had been livid when he and Ralph had returned from the beach and found out, telling Ralph he knew they shouldn't have allowed that useless tub of fat to look after their precious children.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into allowing that pillock to look after our babies!" He snapped, "The kid can barely see his own feet!"

Ralph, though he disagreed with the "useless tub of fat" remark, understood Jack's anger. He knew that deep down the chief worried about the children, constantly. Why wouldn't he? They were like his own.

They trekked most of the forest out, running into a few wild boars and several tropical birds but no sign of Petey. Ralph hung back, too afraid to look incase they came across a corpse. Jack noticed his discomfort and went to him.

"Ralph, darling, they'll find him." He said, putting an arm around his "chiefess", "You'll see. He'll be fine"

"…five minutes Jack." Ralph's lips trembled, "I left them alone for _five_ minutes. Shows what a wonderful mother I am. And now our baby is probably dead in a ditch somewhere, the poor little thing…"

He broke off and sobbed. Jack wound his arms around him and pulled his mate into a comforting hug, allowing the smaller boy to cry into his chest.

"Ssssh, there now, it's not your fault." Jack lifted Ralph's chin so they were looking into each other's eyes, "If you dare say you're a bad mother again, I'll never forgive you. We'll find Petey. Everything's going to be alright"

"JACK!" Roger suddenly called from the distance, "I'VE FOUND HIM!"

The two of them raced forward into the clearing where they found Roger holding a cheerful looking Petey by the wrist. The child was completely oblivious to the worry he'd caused.

"Petey! Thank goodness!" Jack went and lifted Petey off the ground, holding him at arm's length so he could scold him properly, "Peter Marc-Anthony Cornelius Merridew-Finnegan! (Yes, Ralph has given the kids their own surnames XD) Where have you been? Your mother and I have been worried sick! You're grounded Mister!"

Petey giggled.

"Thank God you're okay." Ralph reached over and rubbed his hair, "No more wandering off Petey, you really scared Mummy."

"Do Mummy and Daddy still love me?" Petey asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yes, by some miracle, we still do." Jack replied, as Ralph leaned over and kissed their "little angel."


	21. Three years later

Three years passed and still no boat came for them.

A lot changed over the years. All the littleuns got taller, Piggy lost some weight (but not much) and Ralph and Jack's relationship got a _lot _more intimate.

After all, there comes a time in a child's life where they experience natural urges.

Ralph took a deep breath, trying hard not to shake in fear. He couldn't believe this was happening. It wasn't right – it was _unnatural_. But it had happened, whether he liked it or not. Now all he had to do was tell Jack.

The chief was in the cave as he usually was in the morning, half asleep on the floor. The children were down on the beach doing P.T with Roger and Simon was berry picking with Piggy so the two of them were completely alone.

"Jack…" Ralph walked up to him nervously and squatted next to the sleeping figure, gently shaking his shoulder, "Jack darling, wake up."

The red-head stirred and his face tensed in his sleep. After a while, his blue eyes opened and he blinked up tiredly at his blonde-haired lover.

"This better be good." He announced with a smile.

Jack had changed a lot in the years. He'd developed a lot more muscle and broad shoulders; the kind of build that suggested a future in boxing. Not only his appearance but his personality changed. He was a lot sweeter now; less of a silly child and more a mature young man. Now sixteen years of age, Jack Merridew had the mind-set of an adult.

The blonde smiled weakly at him, "Are you hungry?"

Jack blinked at him, "You woke me up to ask me that?"

"No…I was just wondering…I could get you something…" Embarrassed, Ralph bent his head so his longish hair fell into his eyes, covering the shame.

There was something bothering the blonde. Jack knew this. He sat up properly and took Ralph's chin with his thumb and forefinger, lifting his face so they were looking into each other's eyes.

"What's wrong, Ralph?"

Ralph shrugged, "Nothing important…"

"Don't give me that. You'd never risk waking me up unless it was something dire. Now tell me what's wrong."

Ralph couldn't reply. He moved his head to the side out of Jack's hold and his cheeks heated up.

"Is it because of what we did?"

Ralph's head jerked back towards the other boy, cheeks fiery red, "What?"

"I know it hurt you but…that's normal." Jack scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Look, if you're bothered about it, we don't have to do it again. I just wanted to know what it felt like and I really love you but…if you're bothered because I'm a boy or something, that's fine-"

Ralph put a finger on the red-head's lips, "Jack, I'm glad we did it. And the fact you're a boy makes no difference at all. I love you and I only want to be with you. It's just…" He sighed, eyes suddenly tearing up.

"Ralph…?" Jack peered at him, concerned, "Darling, what's wrong?"

Ralph burst out crying as soon as he met Jack's eyes and pressed his face into the crook of the older boy's neck. Jack held him a while, baffled as he sobbed uncontrollably. He'd hadn't seen Ralph this upset since Petey was injured. After a while he tired himself out, giving Jack the opportunity to question him again.

"Sssh, there now Ralph, it can't be _that_ bad." He gently reached over and wiped the falling tears away, "Is it Roger? Has he been teasing you? Tell me what he said to upset you and I'll sort him out."

"It's not Roger." Ralph replied, wiping his eyes.

"Is it _me_?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well…have you found someone else?"

"Jack-"

"I understand if you have Ralph. I mean, it's been three years. You were bound to have got bored of me by now-"

"Jack Merridew! Don't you ever say that again!" Ralph's eyes began to well up again and he clung to the older boy tightly, "I'm not having an affair. It's…it's _me_."

"What about you?"

The blonde inhaled sharply, "Do you promise you won't be angry?"

Jack frowned, "Now you've got me worried. Come on, spill."

Ralph looked up at Jack's calm complexion and that made him feel a little braver.

_Might as well break it to him now_… he thought.

So he took a deep breath and began.

* * *

**And that's it! It's all finished, right? WRONG! There shall be a sequel and it shall contain Mpreg (hopefully you will forgive me) You've been wonderful readers. I love you all Xxx**


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